Off Duty Stripper
The moment I sit down next to a client, I'm almost always asked "why" I'm there. To most people, it's unfathomable why I would choose this line of work. There must be some dark reason behind it; it must be a means to an end. (I'll save my rant for how fucked up it is how all these men are so eager to pay for a lap dance while under the assumption that it must be dreadful work.)
There is a general assumption that the only reason I'm a stripper is because some tragedy has befallen me, that I'm 'slumming,' doing 'research,' searching for a rich husband, paying for college, babies, family medical bills, heroin...
You're not a stripper; you're a writer who strips, I am routinely informed.
So that makes me not a stripper, as a peel off my bikini top a rate of twenty bucks every two minutes? Is a nurse not really a nurse because he has bills to pay, enjoys collecting first edition restaurant placemats and hopes to curate a gallery show one day?
Just like digging ditches, training elephants, and teaching kindergarten, stripping is a job. Can we do away with the dehumanizing of women who, like me, turn a profit by becoming the sex object that every television screen coaxes us to be? Let's accept that real humans are doing all this sexy work everyone seems so down to gawk at, and give them the thanks and respect they deserve for being so generous with their flesh, creativity, patience and wit.
Strippers are everywhere. And for the most part, we, and all sorts of other sex(y) workers are human. Off Duty Stripper is about bringing to the public's attention that we exist off-stage, too.
But really, after all this goddamn seriousness, Off Duty Stripper is about having some fucking fun. For all the effort strippers put into entertaining others, it's time we amuse ourselves. Pair this T-shirt with a modest pair of khakis to confuse the hell out of everyone, or gift it to your grandpa.
If you want Jacq to run a mile in the shirt and put it in a ziplock bag before posting it, there will be a twenty dollar surcharge.