CONTACT:

For bookings, media requests, and love letters, email info @ jacqthestripper dot com 

For customer service, email strippersforevershop @ gmail dot com

To stay in touch, sign up for the Strippers Forever newsletter.

 

         

123 Street Avenue, City Town, 99999

(123) 555-6789

email@address.com

 

You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab.
Link to read me page with more information.

lucite.jpg

Blog

 

 

Filtering by Tag: Rapey

Pussy and Pedophilia at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

Jacq

I love vagina imagery. Whenever I catch a glimpse of some feminine-looking folds in a tub of fresh margarine, a warmth of happiness and giggles surrounds me and I immediately text all of my 13 closest friends.

My second-ever instagram post. 

My second-ever instagram post. 

It’s poon-tastic!

So I went for a wander at the Met and stumbled across some vagical gems that I thought I’d share with you.

This painting by Marsden Hartley is *technically* called “The Virgin of Guadalupe” but I re-christened it COOCHIE DENTATA:

That's one vibrant vagina. Girl's so lucky hers even came with TEETH. 

That's one vibrant vagina. Girl's so lucky hers even came with TEETH. 

Classic Georgia needs no introduction:

This is the move I refer to in  The Beaver Show  as “The Silencer.” 

This is the move I refer to in The Beaver Show as “The Silencer.” 

And before I got too bored I saw this one by Balthus. It’s called “Therese Dreaming.”

The description beside the painting reads:

It’s a bit of a wordy yawn, so I’ve gone ahead and translated it for y’all in plainer English:

Balthus’ child model hides her eyes in discomfort as he peers at her privates. Thérèse Blanchard is 12 or 13 in this painting. The story goes that her brother was there, but that’s only written here on this plaque to make it seem less creepy and rapey, since this painting is hanging in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Thérèse is alone. For three years, Balthus persisted with his pedophilic and rapey creepiness towards this child. He painted and sold at least 11 paintings depicting behaviour for which he should have been castrated.

 

 

CAT STEVENS WAS A CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HO

Jacq

CAT STEVENS.jpg

Cat Stevens was a rock and roll star of the sixties who converted to Islam in the 70's. He wrote some songs that sound like lullabies that you wish your dad would sing.

I'm about to ruin everything you feel about this guy because we're about to unpack the reality that Mr. Stevens was a full-fledged Captain Save-a-ho.

What's a Captain Save-a-ho, you ask?

And now, with the help of his infamous song, "Wild World," we shall explore what it truly means to want to keep a girl safe from the big bad world of fragile masculinity. 

Now that I've lost everything to you

READ: I’ve maxed my daily withdrawal limit from the ATM.

You say you wanna start something new

READ: you’re still working.

And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'

READ: it’s hard for me to accept this

Baby, I'm grievin'

READ: Dreading the blue balls that are a-brewing

But if you wanna leave, take good care

I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear

READ: No one’s gonna take you shopping like I do.

But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

READ: I hope you don’t get raped

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

It's hard to get by just upon a smile

READ: I know you get by just fine with your smile and that intimidates me; I want to stifle it. Please be with me, shackled to the country club and my suburban castle.

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

I'll always remember you like a child, girl

READ: I’m a pedophile

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do

READ: I’ve done bad things to women myself.

And it's breakin' my heart in two

Because I never wanna see you a sad girl

READ: You are only safe from predatory men if you relinquish your autonomy to one predatory man who will be your protector.

Don't be a bad girl

Read: But please, do. But only for me.

But if you wanna leave, take good care

I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there

Read: I hope other people are as kind and benevolent as I, and that they will protect you from all the rapists.

But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

It's hard to get by just upon a smile

READ: Please don’t leave me. Your smile is the only light in my life.

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

I'll always remember you like a child, girl

Baby, I love you

But if you wanna leave, take good care

I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there

But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

It's hard to get by just upon a smile

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world

I'll always remember you like a child, girl