I love vagina imagery. Whenever I catch a glimpse of some feminine-looking folds in a tub of fresh margarine, a warmth of happiness and giggles surrounds me and I immediately text all of my 13 closest friends.
So I went for a wander at the Met and stumbled across some vagical gems that I thought I’d share with you.
This painting by Marsden Hartley is *technically* called “The Virgin of Guadalupe” but I re-christened it COOCHIE DENTATA:
Classic Georgia needs no introduction:
And before I got too bored I saw this one by Balthus. It’s called “Therese Dreaming.”
The description beside the painting reads:
It’s a bit of a wordy yawn, so I’ve gone ahead and translated it for y’all in plainer English:
Balthus’ child model hides her eyes in discomfort as he peers at her privates. Thérèse Blanchard is 12 or 13 in this painting. The story goes that her brother was there, but that’s only written here on this plaque to make it seem less creepy and rapey, since this painting is hanging in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Thérèse is alone. For three years, Balthus persisted with his pedophilic and rapey creepiness towards this child. He painted and sold at least 11 paintings depicting behaviour for which he should have been castrated.