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Filtering by Tag: Low Brow / High Brow

Strippers at the Whitney

Jacq

I took my mum to the Whitney because, if you can believe it, she likes arts and crafts as much as I do:

(She also likes creatively athletic disciplines.)

(She also likes creatively athletic disciplines.)

So up the elevators we went to ponder the great new space. 

There were strippers everywhere. 

This is the stripper version of a turtle going inside her shell when the rich guy in VIP keeps trying to make out with her:

This is the fearless weirdo stripper who spits fire and stares down ungrateful non-tippers into a submission about which they have terrifying wet dreams for weeks:

This is the 23-year-old guy in pristine Air Jordans who, in lieu of buying you a drink, wants to show you his Instagram profile:

This stripper is clearly dancing to 'Wicked Games' by Chris Issak:

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This #offdutystripper only wears satin and has no time for your 'here's-43-paltry-reasons-why-you should-date-me' bullshit. She never leaves the house but bribes her favourite strippers to come over to her place (which is like, really far away) but always has the best cheese spreads, Prosecco and prescription pills:

This is the queer #offdutystripper party of January 30, 1987. Shortly after this oil panting was produced they joined hands and conjured to birth my spirit:

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Art is great when you refuse to interpret it any other way than women conspiring to destroy the patriarchy. 

Strippers at the MoMA

Jacq

My girl Morgan just turned 29 so we marched our still-delightfully-perky-in-spite-of-being-on-the-'unfuckable'-other-side-of-25 asses to look at some modern ahhht.

And because art is better when you're sauced, we pre-gamed by talking shit over a glass of Sangiovese:

This is the self-conscious new girl:

This is the weird cosplay girl who makes bank because tech nerds now rule the world:

This is what happens when a man is rude and he suffers the hexes of all the strippers and it genuinely terrifies him:

The mansplainer:

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When he tries to pay in quarters:

We decided that the chair in the centre is optimal for lap dances. All that's missing is wrist restraints:

This is the sad sack who didn't cum after one dance and (unsuccessfully) tries to negotiate a 2-for-1:

This is the hot girl with perfect tits who can make $1000 while she's sleeping. We all want to hate her but she's actually really nice:

This is Sharon, the veteran stripper. She's seen it ALL and ain't scared of NOTHING:

This is the guy who *swears* he's not a stalker, he just REALLY NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR REAL NAME:

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At the end of the night when they turn the lights on:

This is when we are all trying to cash out at 4am and the manager relishes in all the attention he is finally receiving after being ignored all night:

That life-giving after-work shower that washes away the dirty-old-man-smell that you've been forced to marinate in for the last 8 hours because of the recent tragedy where baby boomer men read a fake news story about how flossing is ineffective:

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We had a gay old time:

See you at the Whitney!