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SONY: just your average dipshit pimp


All of this Sony business is getting me down. 

Anyone with talent who needs help getting her art into the world is often sought out by a pimp. A manager, if you will. Someone to introduce you to the right people; someone to 'keep you safe.'

Master Pimp Sony won't let go of Kesha because he's invested so much money into her. She is an investment and therefore his property until she can buy her freedom in the form of six more records. Pimps never really want to let you go, though; they would rather see you die, fizzle out, go to rehab, make a great comeback record and then get old enough so no other pimps will want you. 

I've never been pimped, but I get pitched on it all the time. 

Most pimps don't look like the guy in the drawing; they look like well-to-do white men with even whiter collars and fresh haircuts.

"I could introduce you to some really great guys..." 

(it always starts like that.)

"NO PRESSURE, he says. Just meet with them. You can do whatever you want. If you get along, great, if you don't.... you can leave." 

you can leave. 

That last part is always riddled with bullshit. 

I never thought I would be the kind of person a pimp would try to accost. I keep impeccable posture when I'm at work; someone somewhere once told me that rounded shoulders make rapists think you're an easy target. 

(I have really good posture.)

But still I get all sorts of pitches. Lately even some literary agents are telling me how they can 'help me.' And sometimes I think I might want a pimp. For my writing, for my art, for my career as a slutty, funny and feminist comedian. I'm sure Kesha felt the same way when Sony Pimp knocked on her door with a multi-record deal and a lot of fine print. 

Pimping is everywhere. Anyone who helps you make money and takes a cut is, more or less, a pimp. A manager, an agent, a broker... whatever. They are all performing the same service: they are stepping between the talent and her audience, casting a wider net so that she may be consumed by more people. It's not a weird concept. You might have a pimp. I certainly do: the strip clubs where I work are my pimps. They take half for 'providing the facility' where I operate my business. And within the club there is another layer of pimps who are called 'hosts.' Hosts introduce you to specific clients who, after you make money off them (and the client usually tips the host generously) the host expects a cut of my earnings. Talent agents are pimps for connecting the artist with the paying client. Pimps are epic cogs in the capitalist machine and no one seems to give a shit. Especially when it's women (such hot commodities!) who are trying to go renegade. 

'Renegade' is a term in the world of pimping and prostitution: A renegade is a prostitute who does not have a pimp. It is very dangerous to work the game as a renegade and go out on the track without a pimp. The term carries an extremely negative connotation. That is, a woman without male representation should experience danger and difficulty while trying to run her business/live her life/exist. 

Sony is a nasty pimp and it makes me sad. I'm furious that Chris Brown and Woody Allen still have careers while women like Kesha are stuck in purgatory with her pimp and rapist. She can't make music unless her rapist mixes the track and her pimp says it's commercially viable enough to share with the world. 

Free Kesha.