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So You Wanna Be a Stripper... BUT ARE YOU TOO YOUNG?

Jacq

If you're asking this question in ernest - which you're probably not - then the answer is yes, you are probably too young. 

But no one ever thinks they're 'too young' to get into the sexy game so perhaps this post is a lost cause. 

I get a lot of emails from 18-year-olds who are ready to dry-hump their way to the Gucci flagship store. I've even received some queries from 16-year-olds. So I talked to the most successful strippers I know, and most of them got their start in their late-twenties. Because becoming an adult in the adult entertainment industry is very different than becoming an adult. 

My personal belief is that stripping is an adult job that should DEFINITELY NOT BE THE FIRST JOB YOU EVER HAVE. 

Stripping is NOT a normal job. It's fun, weird, rad, empowering and immensely inconsistent. If ass-clapping in a slingshot bikini and talking to strange men in the dark is your welcome to the work force, you are making a huge mistake. 

Here is a photo of me mere months before I became Jacq the Stripper.

I was 23. I was living in Thailand being a stock photography model:

The peak of my modeling career 

The peak of my modeling career 

Before that, I worked in advertising. (slacks, cubicles, data-entry... not my thing)

Before that, I graduated from university with a degree in Russian Literature and Cultural Theory. 

And before that I was a bartender, waitress, unreasonably-expensive-clothes-seller, bus girl, snowboard instructor, and petting zoo face-painter.

I had SO MANY SHITTY JOBS, and a handful of fun ones. (Teaching snowboarding is rad because the kids just want to be like you so they listen to everything you say. Bartending is great for the free booze and refusal to refill water glasses. But unless there is a strip club out there called THE PETTING ZOO, I'm never setting foot in one of those fucking things ever again.) The point is, I earned minimum wage and HOLY SHIT IS THIS EVER A RITE OF PASSAGE. 

You need a solid understanding of the basic cost of living before you surround yourself with people who throw around money like confetti. You are, after all, a tourist in the world of privilege. You're not a baller; you're a hustler. At least for now. 

Now let's talk about how you will never see men in the same way ever again:

The whole man-hating thing that happens to a lot of strippers is a very real thing. After your first shift, you will have so little faith left in the male species. In strip clubs, women are the ones in power. It makes men uncomfortable, and so they try on different personas to try to figure out how they are supposed to exist without being on top. The result is often a bevy of sad, pathetic, over-compensating, rude pigs. Our job is to wrangle money out of said pigs. 

Stripping is for thick-skinned, pragmatic cunts who crave a flexible work schedule and independent wealth. If you're one of those hopeless romantic types, stick to your day job.

Does what I'm saying make you sad? THEN YOU'RE NOT READY.

Does none of this information surprise you? THEN SLIP ON YOUR PLASTIC SHOES, GIRL, CUZ YOU ABOUT TO BE A STRIPPER.