Last night was dope.
My wife took me on a date to Pumps where Brooklyn's finest rippers put together the ultimate spectacle of tits and glitz.
Hosted by the velevet-voiced and endlessly charismatic Spank Sinatra, Girls! Girls! Girls! donated proceeds of the event to Persist Health Project. There was music, a raffle, alcohol and hotties everywhere. There were so many SMILING strippers I thought I had died and gone to hell because, well, strippers don't usually smile (we tend to make less money when men think we're happy).
I was so proud and hard for my stripper sisters last night, y'all.
Let me start by declaring my love for Sinister Shabzzz and all her flexible, no-fucks-given glory.
Then ̶J̶e̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶H̶a̶l̶l̶ Sunny Serrano showed up, backed her fine ass up the pole backwards and reminded me that I need to do more squats.
Zoe Stardust kept it intimate with her svelte curves and insistence that we all stay hydrated.
And then it got SO JAIL-BAITY.
I bet this babe tells clients she's twelve. She probably already owns four houses.
I fell in love twenty times over. Thank you Pumps Pinups for the Sunday worship.