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Consider the Penis Cloak

Jacq

Rick Owens has these dope-ass penis cloaks and they've got me thinking,

What if strip club patrons wore these as a sort of gesture of mutual complicity in the entertainment that is the objectifying of our bodies?

We parade around topless, bottomless... selflessly sitting on men's laps to make them feel happy or special or strong or whatever. Either way, at the end of the day, it's all about the penis. So why not get honest about this and demand the donning of a penis cloak? 

PROS: 

  • Ventilation
  • Maybe men will finally stop skipping leg day 
  • With (partial/relevant) nudity comes humility (or is this just wishful thinking?) and respect for all bodies.
  • Impose a rule: out of respect for others, penises are to remain flaccid. Should they become erect, the penis wielder must cover it with a throw pillow. The throw pillow can be purchased from a dancer for $500. 

CONS:

  • Ew 
  • Gross 
  • Ball sweat is stinky 
  • Men's delicate feelings about being objectified will totally kill the party vibe.  

Whaddya say? Are we down for a dress code overhaul?